The Bitterness Within

Hold something back in for too long and it'll come out as something twice as strong and ugly. You can never brush things under the carpet for too long; eventually you'll have to deal with them and deal with reality. I'm afraid that I've become bitter. Every thought, every sight and every mention makes me plain bitter. I try not to let it show, not let it come out of my mouth...but the heart has its way, and no matter what, the damn thing will have its way until, seconds later your mind knocks sense into you and makes you feel bad about it. How do things get to this point? Did we make ourselves vulnerable? Do we have no control over things?  Are things simply as they are meant to be? Is there something in them for us to learn?  Revenge is not what I'm looking for just respite, for myself and those I love. What has been done can't be undone and I can't keep trying to go back; it's like trying to climb an escalator that's going down-you'll keep moving, but it'll never get you anywhere.